I thought I saw her. She looked like her. Her hair, her beautiful smile.. reminds me of her beautiful smile. But I didn't get a good look 'cause it happened so fast. Was in my dad's car after church, drove to a narrow residential street, my dad wanted to just drive through, but a car with "P" sign was up ahead. The "P" driver riled my dad a little because he/she was causing traffic, but it was only momentarily. As our car drove past his/hers.. that's when I saw the driver. Sandra?? The driver looked like her, but I know the car did not belong to her, so it couldn't be her.. maybe she was just someone else, someone just passing by. An incident that may seem trivial to many, it was monumental to me. This morning I thought I saw the love of my life.
Fading memories, strong feelings, of old and cherished, started pouring back into the mind, heart and soul. Account of her angelic face has faded so much.. but I still remember that cute Japanese eyes of hers. "Long, long.. but small".. hahaha.. that's how she would describe her eyes. But of course, she is of Japanese descendant.. her mom is Japanese, and her hometown is in Okinawa. She's a special gal, speaks so many languages.. Japanese, Italian, German.. she cracks me up every time she starts speaking in accent. Her prominent, beautiful nose. Personifies her unbelievable strength and toughness, despite being one of the kindest, most soft-hearted and definitely the friendliest person in the world. And her slender lips. I could still remember the last time we hanged out. Her lips were purple, lacked of blood.. maybe it was a result of what she had and was going through at that moment. As she was telling me the adventures of she and her cousin bag-packing in Europe, as I looked at her lips, I just wanted to kiss them. I just wanted to kiss her...
This afternoon, went to buy clothes with family. Was lining up at the counter to pay for the shirts.. suddenly a girl lined up just behind me. Call me crazy but she looked like her!! Only thinner.. I couldn't have a proper look of her entire face, because i was too insecure with my fugly "Alejandro" style haircut. But I wanted to know really badly.. was it her? Have you lost so much weight because of what you are suffering from, that I could not even recognize your face anymore? I don't know.. I looked at her, she looked at me.. but nobody said a word, wanted to open my mouth and utter "Are you Sandra?" but it didn't happen. After payment, we just walked our different ways... like those fading memories of her that I have...... DAMN YOU TO HELL, ALL.
I miss you... Get well soon.
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